An Attitude of Gratitude

For the last few days, I’ve had this voracious craving for a cultural meal.  It’s been a while, and I’m starving.  These moments come and go for me, but normally I can satiate in some way or another…. i.e. feverishly googling art museums and favorite artists, great moments in history, poetry.. and/or current campaigns for humanity… closing my eyes and feeling the energy of the cultural center of the universe, wherever that may take me.  Most times, simply turning on some good singer/songwriter tunes and shutting myself in the art studio will get me over the hump, but lately… I’ve been extra famished.  Sometimes, I guess, you just need full immersion.
This is one of the challenges of living where we live…. There doesn’t ever seem to be enough cultural diversity to counter the general consensus.  We don’t talk about it much because we stay so focused on the wonderful people who exist in our lives here; however,  it is something we’ve discussed in reference to building a family and whether the overall view would be a sufficiently nourishing environment for a child.   I find myself surviving it more and more these days so it seems unfair not to, at least, acknowledge the reality that we live in a place where diversity sadly does not exist in quantities large enough to alleviate the burden of inequality. 
 And then on a day like today, I wake up with a wacky idea like, “That’s it, we are going to NYC to drown ourselves in art museums and every melting pot of skin color, religion, gender, ethnicity,  art, music, spoken word,  and whatever other giant heaps of humanity we can trip over along the way.”  Then I remember that we also need to buy a dependable vehicle, and the money isn’t plentiful enough for us to do both right now and my heart sinks.  AND THEN… I begin to scrawl a list across my soul of all the things I’m grateful for.  Because I am. 
I am grateful to even be endowed with an awareness that the world is a big, BIG place with infinite possibilities.  I am grateful that I don’t share the views which seem to stifle progress, but I can exist in love with them anyway.  I am grateful that I have options.  I am grateful I can create and write things which help me explore these options.  I am grateful that my life has purpose and I am always contributing to the greater good of humanity… even when I feel far removed from it.  I am grateful for the path which brought me to the doorstep of myself.  I am grateful I was given enough humility to knock ....and enough courage to go inside.  I am grateful to be standing on a solid platform of morals and values which once was crumbling beneath my feet.  I am grateful to be able to spend my days with someone who shares the same values and teaches me how to keep them at the forefront of my life and our relationship.  I am grateful that when and if we are given the honor of sharing our lives with a child, we will be open-minded, willing, and honest parents.  I am grateful for the beautiful, inspiring seascape of the emerald coast outside my back door, inevitably granting an acute awareness that there IS a power greater than me.  I am grateful for the empowering qualities of powerlessness.  I am grateful that I don’t have to be in control.  I am grateful that it is not my time to venture out into the big world today because there is apparently much work to be done right here.  I am grateful for life’s abundance.  I am grateful that I am capable of having my own cultural and spiritual experience in the midst of it all.  I am grateful that everything I need, I already possess.  I am grateful.
"I am a part of WE.  It can't be US and THEM anymore.  We have to understand..... WE are all US."
                                                                                                                                   -Cynthia Nixon-

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